What We Do | I'm With Them

What We Do

The Problem

Intentional, serial, sexual misconduct in the workplace creates a hostile environment that directly harms victims. Though assault is by far the most egregious and criminal form of misconduct, the majority of work-related, sexual misconduct is more subtle intimidation.

I'm With Them recognizes two features of work-related, sexual misconduct. First, perpetrators often seek to isolate victims from one another. Second, any one victim may:

  • not have enough substantiation,
  • feel the situation was too ambiguous,
  • feel uncomfortable speaking out alone,
  • feel the outcome will not be worth the hassle or
  • fear retribution.

Serial perpetrators mostly target those in a lower position of power, both within their company and even outside it: people who may be seeking employment or funding or selling a product or service, for example. Yet, like the proverbial bundle of sticks, when victims can identify and support each other, all of these factors and the potential for obtaining results are vastly improved. We have witnessed this support turn to action when, after one or a few victims speak out publicly, dozens more come forward.

Serial perpetrators count on victims being unable to reach each other. They know that victims often do not want to publicize their uncomfortable or violent experiences. I'm With Them overcomes this isolation and meets the need for connection by providing a private space where victims can indicate they are willing to reach out and support others.

Our Approach

  • Authentication
  • Identify Offender
  • Characterize Incident
  • Wait
  • Connect

Together, we have the power to reduce sexual misconduct. Here's our 5 step process.

  1. We authenticate you are who you say you are.
  2. You privately identify the perpetrator.
  3. You privately characterize your experience(s) with that person.
  4. We and you wait for critical mass to build around the perpetrator.
  5. If critical mass occurs, we share email addresses between you and others with the same perpetrator.

1. For your protection and to block people from posing under pseudonyms, when anyone first registers, we authenticate to the best of our abilities who they are. You will be asked for your name, email address, cell phone number, birthdate, last four digits of your social security number, and home address.

After we complete the authentication process, we will delete the personal information except for your name, email address, cell phone number and birthyear. Together with a password, these will form your profile. You will not have to authenticate again.

2. Next, you will be asked to privately identify the person who mistreated you by giving us as much data about them as you can, so that we can be sure of their identity. If you learn more information about this person later, you can come back to the website and add it.

3. You will then be asked to privately characterize your experience with the perpetrator.  Some harassment is obvious and is more easily brought to the attention of authorities; other harassment is subtle, suggesting that a larger number of people experiencing it would make for a more impactful response. We ask for characterization data to help us understand whether your experience will be better served by connection with more people.

4. After you have entered data into the system, we and you will wait. This system is intended to treat your information with the gravity of the experiences with which you have entrusted us. Please expect a wait of months or potentially years. Indeed, because we cannot be sure that others who have interacted with the perpetrator(s) you have identified will come to our website or step forward, we cannot guarantee a connection will be made. You can help us reach out to others by sharing information about us on social media (without telling anyone you are registered!)

5. Over this waiting period, we will monitor for incidents logged against the same person. We hope to algorithmically identify a critical mass of events and victims for each perpetrator. When a critical mass of events forms, we will email you and others who have had experiences with the same perpetrator, urging you all to come back to the website to obtain each others' contact information.

Benefits of I'm With Them

Our shared mission is to reduce work-related, sexual misconduct.

  1. Your information is held privately; only your name and email address are released, and only when a connection event occurs.
  2. No potentially manipulative or self-interested third party, such as an attorney, a reporter or an elected official, is involved in connecting.
  3. You determine how to reach out and meet with others.
  4. You control how much of your experience you wish to share.
  5. You choose whether to take action separately or together.
  6. You can make an even bigger difference and help reduce serial sexual misconduct.
  7. You can support others who have also been harmed.

What We Don't Do

We will only release your name and contact information to individuals who have similarly been authenticated and associated with a perpetrator you have identified. We will not release your contact information to anyone else, unless compelled to do so via legal means.* If you would never want your experience to become known, we would urge you not to use I'm With Them, as the purpose of the system is to communicate with others.

We will not resell your contact information to anyone.

Our perspective is that the experience you have had belongs to you and that you should control how and with whom it is expressed. We will not willingly release your individual experience data, though we are likely to analyze it in combination with the data of others to look for patterns by perpetrator, company or industry as part of our shared mission. We reserve the right to notify appropriate authorities about the identities of serial perpetrators who display willful disregard for the rights of others; once again, perpetrator identities would not be released with connection to particular individuals or incidents.

We do not retain your authentication information, other than your name, email address, cell phone number and birthyear.

*In a legal case, a judge can require that those with evidence relevant to the case produce such evidence. As a legal entity, we cannot defy a court order.